Oh boy. What to do ...
Can't decide?
Stay home? Or, make space your new home. We understand. It's a tough decision. Because basic arithmetic is a necessary skill, whether on earth or in space, please be ready to tabulate your score.
Answer these simple questions and tally your score.
1. Are you the type who runs at the first sign of trouble, or are you mesmerized by disaster?
There's no shame in admitting it, either way.
- 10 POINTS The only time I got in trouble was when I wasn't paranoid enough.
- 5 POINTS I don't walk out of movies before the ending.
- 0 POINTS I'm not sure what we're talking about here. Is this some kind of metaphor or a reference to a TV show I've never seen?
2. What's your preferred way to spend $50 million in tax-payer money?
- 10 POINTS Exploring space for scientific discoveries that could eventually help human survival (like "Space Sticks" and "Tang")
- 5 POINTS Cleaning up a polluted river so millions can have finally clean drinking water.
- 0 POINTS Ummm ... buying an island where all the world's most beautiful people –– and me –– can escape climate change?
3. Does the idea of spending years* away from friends and family appeal to you?
* and possibly forever
- 10 POINTS Why yes it does, but don't tell them that.
- 5 POINTS If my dog isn't welcome in space, I'm not coming.
- 0 POINTS No way am I missing March Madness.
4. Any chance you're spending the first week of November in Glasgow?
- 10 POINTS I stick to the warm weather in Cape Canaveral, Vandenberg, TorC New Mexico, Houston ...
- 5 POINTS Heck yes going to Cop 26 but have you seen the prices of Airbnbs?
- 0 POINTS Glasgow ... Kentucky?
5. Are you claustrophobic, restless, easily bored, prone to fits of hysteria or weird laughter?
- 10 POINTS No, I'm cool as a cucumber, a self-contained self-soother, steady as a rock, and by that I mean The Rock, Dwayne Johnson.
- 5 POINTS Believe me, you would be too if you read the latest news about the climate crisis.
- 0 POINTS Admittedly, just weird. But in a good way.
6. Enjoy long hot showers?
Even in secret?
- 10 POINTS Not since astronaut boot camp!
- 5 POINTS Not since finding out half the world is running out of water.
- 0 POINTS Um ... next question?
7. Emergency! Space debris has destroyed the forward heat sensor. You:
- 10 POINTS Jerry-rig a replacement using parts from the onboard coffeemaker.
- 5 POINTS . Learn to love tea –– because climate change is set to slash coffee production anyway. Oh crap. Tea is also under threat from climate change, too.
- 0 POINTS Would rather burn up in space than live without coffee.
8. Your ideal day: A, binge-watching a new series, or B, frolicking in the Great Outdoors?
- 10 POINTS Definitely A –– especially if it's "What We Do in the Shadows" –– What I lose in Vitamin D, I make up in not ever having to buy sunblock.
- 5 POINTS . Definitely B –– I love clean air, wide open spaces, and lots of sunshine –– don't even get me started on Daily Savings Time.
- 0 POINTS Ask me again after Covid because I haven't gone anywhere or done anything in a year and a half –– which should make a %$#@! great resume item on my space travel application.
9. Pick favorite Star Trek: Discovery, original series, DS9, TNG, Voyager, Enterprise, the JJ Reboot
- 10 POINTS If you didn't have to think to answer.
- 5 POINTS If you did.
- 0 POINTS If you're like, what, like Chewie and Han Solo?
10. Do you think humanity has the capacity to pull together to save ourselves?
- 10 POINTS Yes! A joint venture between space scientists and explorers will give us the perspective we need to rise above our petty disputes and focus on creating a bright future for ourselves –– for everyone.
- 5 POINTS Yes! A joint venture of earth scientists and ... everyone on the planet ... will give us the perspective we need to rise above our petty disputes and focus on creating a bright future for ourselves –– for everyone.
- 0 POINTS You know, I'm really, really, really busy so ... ummm ... whatever.
Well, how'd you do?
©2021 Rigged Voyage - All Rights Reserved. Zero Hour Nine AM. Most PHOTOGRAPHY courtesy of NASA. ART ©2021 Lauren O.